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So apparently a shared subscription for the Washington Post means "you can see TWO articles, and then we'll paywall you again until you get YOUR OWN subscription instead of costing us money by mooching off someone else who offered you the free month of access we gave them to share".

*screams in frustrated rage* ALL I WANTED WAS TO READ ABOUT THE PEOPLE BEING AWESOME, YOU ABSOLUTE SHITBAGS. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. WITH A RUSTY FUCKING SPORK!

*stomps off to go try to calm down because I don't actually like being this angry*

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