Hall of Mirrors

https://tawghasa.tumblr.com/post/789143444023066624

wolfythewitch:

Guys,

https://tawghasa.tumblr.com/post/789143444023066624

https://tawghasa.tumblr.com/post/789142834443911168

starfieldcanvas:

andhumanslovedstories:

ziggy-scardust:

mumintroll:

okay

One thing I don’t really get is drawing a distinction between “social skills” and “agreeableness”. Sure, constant appeasement of what others want isn’t exactly a good social mechanism, but aren’t all social skills just an iteration of figuring out how agreeable you should be, and then figuring out how to be that level of agreeable?

I think “agreeableness” is a subsection of social skill, but JUST being agreeable is often a strategy for people who are not comfortable dealing with more assertive interactions. Like it’s good to be flexible and willing to accommodate with stuff, and it’s bad to sacrifice your opinions to go along to get along. There’s a level of agreeableness that gets corrosive to your sense of self-worth. It can also identify you as a person that is easy to take advantage of, or a person whose opinion doesn’t matter, or frankly a person who is just boring. Being super agreeable is the easiest to make an interaction frictionless. That’s fine for many types of interactions, but there are plenty of conversations where the goal cannot be “and no one ever disagrees or gets mad at you.” Meaningful relationships have texture.

Social skills overall include the ability to tolerate discomfort in interactions and relationships. Often agreeableness is a big factor in how you manage these moments—being flexible on solutions to problems, for example, is something I’d consider being agreeable—but agreeableness as the only strategy means that what you are constantly compromising is your sense of self. Depending on your discomfort with social navigation, even disagreeing with someone’s opinion on a song feels like it could destroy your entire relationship.

A more advanced level of social skills allow you to navigate situations involving disagreements, personality mismatches, difficult conversations, the feeling you are disturbing people by forcing them to deal with you, the horror of being vulnerable and open about your own feelings without knowing how the other person will respond. It’s stuff like: Turning someone down after they ask you out, explaining that you don’t drink, reaching out to someone who just experienced a tragedy, asking someone to get lunch with you, recovering from loudly burping mid-sentence in an important conversation, dealing with the moments you realize you’ve stepped into a conversational landmine, telling someone that you disagree with their political view, complimenting someone you don’t know on something they did, telling someone they disappointed you, telling someone you love them.

And to be clear, I love being agreeable. I’d love more people to be agreeable. Pure agreeableness helps you glide through stuff that doesn’t really matter and you don’t need or care to devote energy for. But (general) you should develop a wider ranger of social skills overall because those are generally the ones you’ll use in the relationships and interactions that become most meaningful to your life.

If the only social skill you have is the ability to agree, (1) evil people will hurt you on purpose and (2) good people will hurt you by accident, and then be hurt that you didn’t trust them enough to tell them to stop.

https://tawghasa.tumblr.com/post/789142834443911168

https://tawghasa.tumblr.com/post/789140686359379968

reasonablywittyatbest:

haunteddollsgeorg:

heystephen:

heystephen:

i saw a girl on tiktok who put her salt lamp in the dishwasher and didn’t realize it would dissolve, and it’s been on my mind for like 3 days

ALT

thank god i screen shot it

[ID: a screenshot of a tiktok. text reads, “I thought I could wash my salt lamp in the dishwasher! You can’t apparently!” below the text a hand holds up the remains of a salt lamp: just the wooden stand that once supported the lamp itself. /end ID]

Ok you know what that’s a good point i hadn’t even considered???

https://tawghasa.tumblr.com/post/789140686359379968

https://tawghasa.tumblr.com/post/789140405653585920

karmelarts:

this isn’t normal. this isn’t how life is supposed to feel. if you don’t think about it it can’t hurt you. I found our hearts and they were still beating. there is still time.

https://tawghasa.tumblr.com/post/789140405653585920

https://tawghasa.tumblr.com/post/789140229969821696

meta-squash:

i got out of the theater 5 hours ago and i’m still sitting here thinking about i saw the tv glow like the entire concept of a horror movie that’s not truly a horror movie until the very last scene. the concept of a horror movie where the horror is not a literal monster or a monster as metaphor for the self the horror is literally just the self and the damage done to oneself when you refuse a fundamental part of your identity. and how part of the horror isn’t just the damage done to yourself but also to the people who can relate to you and who love and want to help you. but also that little glimmer of hope in “there is still time” because even just looking into the heart of yourself in the mirror is a step forward, even if you take two steps back immediately after. like the horror in hope and the hope in horror and how the whole reason horror is even a thing is because of the existence of hope (and its failure) god this movie is SO good i need to watch it again immediately.

https://tawghasa.tumblr.com/post/789140229969821696

https://tawghasa.tumblr.com/post/789139655518044160

rumade:

wormyorchids:

leomacgivena:

Xユーザーの日々 (沖縄)さん：「ガザミ 那覇市鏡原 #crab」

What I would do to smoke a joint and draw at this table

It’s in Okinawa, for those looking to make a giant crab pilgrimage

https://tawghasa.tumblr.com/post/789139655518044160

https://tawghasa.tumblr.com/post/789137828180312064

anonymous-lizard:

uhhhhmanda:

bisexualbaker:

storywonker:

storywonker:

They recorded tinnitus? It’s a physical thing?????

Uneasy on the Ear: An Interview with Lola De La Mata

Source

Transcript:

The most mind-blowing moment, not only for De La Mata but the scientists too, came when they managed to actually record the sounds that she heard in her ears – which now appear as ‘Left Ear’ and ‘Right Ear’ which begin sides A and B on the album – and in doing so opened up questions about the nature of tinnitus itself. “The NHS definition is that it’s a phantom sound that your brain is creating, that it isn’t something ‘real’, so you should try to ignore it.” By having De La Mata place her ear into an anechoic chamber, with an ultra-sensitive microphone perched in her ear canal, they were able to provide significant evidence to the contrary. “After the first recording of it, it was ‘There’s no way, this isn’t possible.’” They tried again with her breath held, and again with her tensing her ears, and again with other members of staff, but each time it became apparent that yes, the noises De La Mata hears are seemingly something physical.

HOLY SHIT THAT’S WHAT I HEAR ALL DAY

Can’t believe this is applicable but hi, I’m a doctor of audiology (hearing sciences) and would like to clarify!

SOME tinnitus is physical and can be recorded. Key word being SOME. Tinnitus with physical cause is called objective tinnitus, and may be audible to an outside listener if you have the right equipment (such as in this case). But many types of tinnitus, whether related to hearing loss, psychosomatic causes (“subjective” tinnitus), or other physical damage like pressure on the auditory nerve, won’t be audible to an observer. It just depends on the cause!

Either way, if you’re experiencing sounds in your ears (whether they’re ringing, buzzing, babbling, sometimes even music) that weren’t there, or having changes, consider getting your hearing tested to evaluate the health of the auditory system - this can help you and your healthcare provider determine the best course forward (which can range from hearing aids to tinnitus-specific mindfulness therapy exercises). And remember to seek info from reputable sources - tinnitus treatment is, unfortunately, a big market for grifters.

Fascinating post!

https://tawghasa.tumblr.com/post/789137828180312064

https://tawghasa.tumblr.com/post/789137227402936320

kamilsonslimak:

in honor of anime dropping

https://tawghasa.tumblr.com/post/789137227402936320