It's challenge time!
Comment with Just One Thing you've accomplished in the last 24 hours or so. It doesn't have to be a hard thing, or even a thing that you think is particularly awesome. Just a thing that you did.
Feel free to share more than one thing if you're feeling particularly accomplished!
Extra credit: find someone in the comments and give them props for what they achieved!
Nothing is too big, too small, too strange or too cryptic. And in case you'd rather do this in private, anonymous comments are screened. I will only unscreen if you ask me to.
Summary: The Horcrux, sensing their intent, pulls a new trick.
Annnnnd that’s it until Friday. Things to do and what not.
Just in case, a sort-of-next-day Reblog.
I Didn’t Think I Shipped It But The Fic Writers for This Ship Really Brought Their A Game: a memoir.
I Didn’t Know This Ship Existed Previously But Now I’m In Hell: the sequel
One Who Has Sparked Both Of These, Many A Time, In Many A Reader: @blackkatmagic
*determined to keep ruining people with ships*
All sorts of tools have been found in pre-Christian women’s graves. The only major craft which seems to have been restricted to men only was Blacksmithing. […]
Here are a few examples of jobs done by women in the medieval period:
brewer, laundress, barrel and crate maker, soap boiler, candle maker, book binder, doll painter, butcher, keeper of town keys, tax collector, shepherd, musician, rope maker, banker, money lender, inn keeper, spice seller, pie seller, woad trader, wine merchant, steel merchant, copper importer, currency exchanger, pawn shop owner, lake and river fisherwoman, baker, oil presser, builder, mason, plasterer, cartwright, wood turner, clay and lime worker, glazier, ore miner, silver miner, book illuminator, scribe, teacher, office manager, clerk, court assessor, customs officer, porter, tower guard, prison caretaker, surgeon and midwife. […]
There are records of women traders in 1205 in Genoa, Italy. In fact, 21% of people involved in trade contracts there in the 13th Century were women. Women also provided 14% of capital in seafaring ventures at the time.
Even earlier, in the 12th Century, there are records of women traders in Georgia, Eastern Europe. Paris tax registers for 1292, 1300, 1313 list lots of craftswomen, many of whom were in different trades to their husbands. […]
Girls might be educated at home, with private tutor, or at a Convent. There were also schools within towns. In some cases girls were excluded from these, or only allowed to enter elementary schools. In other cases they were allowed to enter secondary schools and obtain a much broader education, including Latin and other languages. Some schools were mixed, others were single sex. Town Councils and the Church had some control over schools and over the appointment of teachers. In 1388, a Jewish woman, Sarah of Gorlitz, donated a property to be used as a school for Jewish children.
Outside of the Guilds, women might be employed as unskilled labourers in vineyards, on building sites and so on. Many more women than men were employed because they could be paid less for doing the same work.
In Wurzburg, 1428-1449, for example, there are records of 323 female building site workers, paid 7.7 pfennings a day, and 13 male building site workers, paid 11.6 pfennings a day. In general, it seems that a wide range of professions were open to medieval women, although they were also subject to a variety of restrictions.
If anyone’s curious, uncovering the 19th and 20th century erasure of women’s contributions to the creation of medieval European illuminated manuscripts is what started me down my current slippery research slope sometime in 2009-2010. There was a school in Paris with a majority of women illuminators and scribes c. 1300.
P.S. Herrad Von Landsburg is my eternal fave:
A really important reminder for those of us who write fantasy or historical fiction…
I’m still surprised no one has yelled at me for having women with “men’s” jobs in my fic. I mean they’ve certainly yelled at me for weirder things.
Early Cornish kings feasted on a diet of oysters, roast pork and fine wine, eating and drinking from bowls imported from Turkey and glass goblets from Spain, a new dig at Tintagel Castle has suggested.
Discoveries made by the Cornwall archaeological unit (CAU) support the view that Tintagel was a royal site during the 5th and 6th centuries, with trading links reaching as far as the eastern Mediterranean.
Perched on Cornwall’s rugged north coast, Tintagel has for centuries been associated with the legend of King Arthur. Over the past 18 months, its custodian, English Heritage, has been accused of putting too much emphasis on the stories of Arthur and Merlin, rather than focusing on the site’s true, ancient Cornish heritage. The excavations, the first at Tintagel for decades, may help redress the balance. Read more.
Hey guys. I’m in trouble. Please help if you can. I’m trapped, and money is unbelievably tight. But also, good-ish news about the Apprentice Tarot.
So, a lot of you know I am trying to move back to the States, after my visa and living situation turned disastrous. I’m terrified to be doing this in the middle of the preamble to WWIII, but at this point I can’t afford to stay here either because of how much re-applying for all of my visas will cost, and even then I will probably be denied. My best chance at getting back on my feet is back in the States.
A lot of you also know I just paid for an unanticipated dental surgery for my cat that ran me about £1,000. She has a genetic heart disorder called HCM, and this couldn’t afford to wait. Bad teeth are the single biggest cause of heart damage in cats, and her heart is already weak. I had to do it now.
And some of you will also know I have no living family, and no stable home.
I am struggling so hard. Between the vet bills and the cost of moving, I am quickly getting the bottom of my bank account, with more expenses baring down on me. This is a bare-bones move. I’m leaving half my stuff behind, and I’m still barely keeping it together. That was £1,000 I didn’t have to lose.
So I’ve set up a Ko-fi, and I’ll offer pendulum readings as well if you’d like one – you decide the price, it’s cool. I know a lot of us are at the end of our financial tether right now. Only caveat is that I may not be able to do readings immediately as I am currently in a witch-unfriendly place about half the time, but I will do them as quickly as I can (within a couple days)
Whatever is in my Ko-fi that doesn’t get spent on trying to get through this will go straight into my fundraising for the Apprentice Tarot, which I will be starting as soon as my move date gets closer (October 20th). I’ve already printed a small run for @torque-witch to sell at the festival she’s attending as a vendor, and if any don’t sell there, they will be showing up in her shop. I am serious about doing this, and the second, updated edition is done and ready to go for a larger run when I have my life back.
So, anything you can spare will really save my ass. Thank you so much.
Links and buttons are also on my description, on both mobile and desktop.
Please share it around. Thank you again.
The thing about being a trickster’s chew toy that a lot of folks don’t like to talk about is knowing that you need them to stay sane and on track, while simultaneously knowing that having them around means that your life is going to be a mess and that you’re probably going to get fucked up pretty badly in the process.
Trickster gods are more than just gentle jokesters and silly pranksters. They can do serious damage, and yeah, it works out in the end, but in the meantime you’re very likely to get hurt a lot. I wish I could get that through to a lot of the younger, newer folks who’ve decided to follow a Trickster. Sadly, the nature of those drawn to tricksters is that we tend to be bad at listening to advice, even from our own. At least most of them have a choice. Those of us who got licked by a Trickster generally just have to grit our teeth and grudgingly admit that, in the end, our patron jackass had a point and we’re fond of Them, even if They did damned near kill us and put us in therapy for YEARS.
Some days being claimed by Coyote is a pain in the ass. (To forestall the cultural appropriation tirades, because I’m white as the driven snow, one of my dearest friends from childhood and adopted brothers is Native… he dragged me in front of some of the elders of his people to discuss the issue of Coyote and me some 25 or so years ago on a hunch. Their consensus was that the fucker decided that claiming a white woman as His was a Fine Joke and because they understood that Tricksters don’t like rules and will break them when They think they’re too rigid, which makes it extra fun when dealing with the folks who think that no white person should ever deal with Native gods. They found it hilarious, too, and made sure that I know how to properly interact with their traditions, while also leaving room for the understanding that my ancestral ways were not theirs, even though one of their gods had claimed me as one of His. It’s why I can, in fact, use smudging traditions, though I’m bound by promises that I will never presume to teach them to anyone else. I try and keep out of a lot of discussions, because it’s really fucking hard to explain why my white ass can smudge and claim a Native god as my patron when others can’t to people that don’t fully have the understanding of what is and is not appropriation.)
In related news, my life has reached an intolerable level of stagnation, and I may be considering asking the Old Man’s advice/assistance on correcting it. Of course, that means having to forgive His ass for 2004 and 2008 and admit that He had a valid point, and that annoys the fuck out of me. I *barely* survived those years, and have had to do serious time in therapy from the damage those years did. I don’t know how well I can handle another round, but I have to try. Not asking for His help will destroy me, too.
I spent YEARS telling Loki to please kindly fuck off, my life was quite exciting enough already THANK YOU. Wasn’t until He asked what I was worried about Him doing, since my life was an entire clusterfuck anyway.
…smelly asshole had a point. Which is basically what I told Him. My formally phrased acceptance of His offer was ‘FINE GODDAMMIT ALSO YOU SUCK’.
So, yeah. I mean yeah, working with a trickster is kinda awesome! Also, if you actually get a choice in the matter, go do something the hell less exciting, take my word on it. o.O
by Catherine Woodiwiss
1. Trauma permanently changes us.
This is the big, scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing as “getting over it.” The five stages of grief model marks universal stages in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger: a major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no “back to the old me.” You are different now, full stop.
This is not a wholly negative thing. Healing from trauma can also mean finding new strength and joy. The goal of healing is not a papering-over of changes in an effort to preserve or present things as normal. It is to acknowledge and wear your new life — warts, wisdom, and all — with courage.
2. Presence is always better than distance.
There is a curious illusion that in times of crisis people “need space.” I don’t know where this assumption originated, but in my experience it is almost always false. Trauma is a disfiguring, lonely time even when surrounded in love; to suffer through trauma alone is unbearable. Do not assume others are reaching out, showing up, or covering all the bases.
It is a much lighter burden to say, “Thanks for your love, but please go away,” than to say, “I was hurting and no one cared for me.” If someone says they need space, respect that. Otherwise, err on the side of presence.
3. Healing is seasonal, not linear.
It is true that healing happens with time. But in the recovery wilderness, emotional healing looks less like a line and more like a wobbly figure-8. It’s perfectly common to get stuck in one stage for months, only to jump to another end entirely … only to find yourself back in the same old mud again next year.
Recovery lasts a long, long time. Expect seasons.
4. Surviving trauma takes “firefighters” and “builders.” Very few people are both.
This is a tough one. In times of crisis, we want our family, partner, or dearest friends to be everything for us. But surviving trauma requires at least two types of people: the crisis team — those friends who can drop everything and jump into the fray by your side, and the reconstruction crew — those whose calm, steady care will help nudge you out the door into regaining your footing in the world. In my experience, it is extremely rare for any individual to be both a firefighter and a builder. This is one reason why trauma is a lonely experience. Even if you share suffering with others, no one else will be able to fully walk the road with you the whole way.
A hard lesson of trauma is learning to forgive and love your partner, best friend, or family even when they fail at one of these roles. Conversely, one of the deepest joys is finding both kinds of companions beside you on the journey.
5. Grieving is social, and so is healing.
For as private a pain as trauma is, for all the healing that time and self-work will bring, we are wired for contact. Just as relationships can hurt us most deeply, it is only through relationship that we can be most fully healed.
It’s not easy to know what this looks like — can I trust casual acquaintances with my hurt? If my family is the source of trauma, can they also be the source of healing? How long until this friend walks away? Does communal prayer help or trivialize?
Seeking out shelter in one another requires tremendous courage, but it is a matter of life or paralysis. One way to start is to practice giving shelter to others.
6. Do not offer platitudes or comparisons. Do not, do not, do not.
“I’m so sorry you lost your son, we lost our dog last year … ” “At least it’s not as bad as … ” “You’ll be stronger when this is over.” “God works in all things for good!”
When a loved one is suffering, we want to comfort them. We offer assurances like the ones above when we don’t know what else to say. But from the inside, these often sting as clueless, careless, or just plain false.
Trauma is terrible. What we need in the aftermath is a friend who can swallow her own discomfort and fear, sit beside us, and just let it be terrible for a while.
7. Allow those suffering to tell their own stories.
Of course, someone who has suffered trauma may say, “This made me stronger,” or “I’m lucky it’s only (x) and not (z).” That is their prerogative. There is an enormous gulf between having someone else thrust his unsolicited or misapplied silver linings onto you, and discovering hope for one’s self. The story may ultimately sound very much like “God works in all things for good,” but there will be a galaxy of disfigurement and longing and disorientation in that confession. Give the person struggling through trauma the dignity of discovering and owning for himself where, and if, hope endures.
8. Love shows up in unexpected ways.
This is a mystifying pattern after trauma, particularly for those in broad community: some near-strangers reach out, some close friends fumble to express care. It’s natural for us to weight expressions of love differently: a Hallmark card, while unsatisfying if received from a dear friend, can be deeply touching coming from an old acquaintance.
Ultimately every gesture of love, regardless of the sender, becomes a step along the way to healing. If there are beatitudes for trauma, I’d say the first is, “Blessed are those who give love to anyone in times of hurt, regardless of how recently they’ve talked or awkwardly reconnected or visited cross-country or ignored each other on the metro.” It may not look like what you’d request or expect, but there will be days when surprise love will be the sweetest.
9. Whatever doesn’t kill you …
In 2011, after a publically humiliating year, comedian Conan O’Brien gave students at Dartmouth College the following warning:
“Nietzsche famously said, ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’ … What he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.”
Odd things show up after a serious loss and creep into every corner of life: insatiable anxiety in places that used to bring you joy, detachment or frustration towards your closest companions, a deep distrust of love or presence or vulnerability.
There will be days when you feel like a quivering, cowardly shell of yourself, when despair yawns as a terrible chasm, when fear paralyzes any chance for pleasure. This is just a fight that has to be won, over and over and over again.
10. … Doesn’t kill you.
Living through trauma may teach you resilience. It may help sustain you and others in times of crisis down the road. It may prompt humility. It may make for deeper seasons of joy. It may even make you stronger.
It also may not.
In the end, the hope of life after trauma is simply that you have life after trauma. The days, in their weird and varied richness, go on. So will you.
a couple of things that I have realized in the wake of losing my grandmother, who was the closest member of my family:
“Grieving is social, and so is healing.” even over the course of the past week, even as non-social as I’ve been, taking part in the shared tradition of shiva (to an extent, covering my mirrors) and saying mourner’s kaddish (by myself, admittedly) has made everything infinitely more manageable. I’ve not processed things fully, because of a lot of real life shit, but I’m definitely in a better place because of this connection to my community, even if I’m doing it alone.
“Do not offer platitudes.” While I’ve appreciated the sentiment of people saying things like “i’m sorry for your loss” and the like, it’s… frustrating, and makes me angry, because it’s so CLICHE and just… idk. But I was told by my Jewish friends “may her memory be a blessing” (a hope for my future) and it’s a hope for me. It isn’t saying anything but “I hope you’re blessed by the memories of her” and that’s been so nice.
….my point is I’m so glad I had this tradition and community to fall back on when my grandmother died, that she didn’t die 5 years ago, say, and that I had these traditions.
….I miss her
Every NFL team who were on the field for the anthem linked arms in solidarity at minimum.
Also, Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long, and Michael Strahan (Fox NFL Sunday, before the Eagles/Giants game) each gave speeches in support of the protests, and I was surprised at how passionate they were. I honestly didn’t expect them to speak against the president on the pregame show like that, and it wasn’t just a generic “freedom of speech” thing, they actually talked about race and injustice. The NFL made me proud today.
Cheerleaders also knelt, don’ forget them
Fort Gibson High School sophomores used historical events of native people being used in human zoos as a way to show “school rivalry”.
This school is Cherokee nation, at a school with a large number of native people, and they mocked the trauma and oppression of native people.
The school principal and superintendent brushed off the issue. I’m tired of white people getting away with this stuff. White people and POC (including natives) with a colonized mindset will always use the excuse “well I’m not offended so you shouldn’t be” as a way to silence racism.
Guess what? Native American oppression is not an accessory.