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To continue from yesterday's post.
Dec. 20th, 2018 02:05 pmCrossposted to Pillowfort and tumblr.
Attempting to modify or destroy someone's personal defenses or boundaries without their informed and freely-given consent is an act of direct violence.
Hiring others to do so is an act of indirect violence.
Enticing or encouraging others to do so is an act of indirect violence.
Someone's defenses harming someone attempting to violate them is not reason for the above.
Claiming that a person's own defenses are harming them without even asking the person in question is not a reason for the above.
Claiming that one is not involved in the act of direct violence is not justification for encouraging, hiring, or enticing others to do it.
Claiming it is in the best interests of the person whose boundaries are being violated is not a justification.
Acting like the person who is upset that their boundaries have been violated is being unreasonable for saying that this was an act of violence and the person who committed the transgression - or encouraged the transgression - is no longer welcome in the space of the person whose boundaries have been violated is unacceptable behavior.
I am not a thing, my boundaries are not to be dismissed, and any action that I take to reestablish those boundaries with those who would aid those violating them on the far side of them is not unreasonable.
And in response to someone on tumblr asking wtf, a story that is functionally an extended metaphor.
Was told the home defense system I built is malfunctioning and shocking me, a friend who isn’t in the house, and the person attempting to break in (except they weren’t actually trying to break in, no really, they said they weren’t), and that they asked the people at the Meeting I attend to modify the system so it wasn’t shocking anyone ever, and those people approved, so clearly it’s ok.
Wasn’t shocking me, wasn’t shocking the friend who isn’t in the house. It’s working if the person attempting to break in gets shocked. The people at the Meeting aren’t going to modify someone else’s security system because it’s not theirs. Also, those people did not approve an attempt to circumvent someone else’s security system.
Meanwhile, someone brings in tools to modify the security system anyway, and I’m told it’s for my own good. I had to hire a guard dog and a contractor recommended by an old friend (and vetted by the gate-guard at the cemetary I work at, and also by the assult survivor who hangs out at the Meeting from time to time) who has their own really good security system to help me repair the damage faster so I don’t have to spend the next several weeks running wire and hanging drywall and replacing broken glass and changing the locks.
The person who told me this does not have permission to even inspect my security system, much less fuck with it, doesn’t go to my Meeting, and seems to have issues with the gate guard at my work place, the assult survivor at my Meeting, and some of the dolls I keep in the house.
(Said issue with the dolls I keep in the house seems to be that the person found it outside - which is impossible in the first place, they can't leave the house, even if they can get lost in the basement - and smashed it because it's evil and tried to kill said person. Which. Um. Mostly made me go bwuh?)
Attempting to modify or destroy someone's personal defenses or boundaries without their informed and freely-given consent is an act of direct violence.
Hiring others to do so is an act of indirect violence.
Enticing or encouraging others to do so is an act of indirect violence.
Someone's defenses harming someone attempting to violate them is not reason for the above.
Claiming that a person's own defenses are harming them without even asking the person in question is not a reason for the above.
Claiming that one is not involved in the act of direct violence is not justification for encouraging, hiring, or enticing others to do it.
Claiming it is in the best interests of the person whose boundaries are being violated is not a justification.
Acting like the person who is upset that their boundaries have been violated is being unreasonable for saying that this was an act of violence and the person who committed the transgression - or encouraged the transgression - is no longer welcome in the space of the person whose boundaries have been violated is unacceptable behavior.
I am not a thing, my boundaries are not to be dismissed, and any action that I take to reestablish those boundaries with those who would aid those violating them on the far side of them is not unreasonable.
And in response to someone on tumblr asking wtf, a story that is functionally an extended metaphor.
Was told the home defense system I built is malfunctioning and shocking me, a friend who isn’t in the house, and the person attempting to break in (except they weren’t actually trying to break in, no really, they said they weren’t), and that they asked the people at the Meeting I attend to modify the system so it wasn’t shocking anyone ever, and those people approved, so clearly it’s ok.
Wasn’t shocking me, wasn’t shocking the friend who isn’t in the house. It’s working if the person attempting to break in gets shocked. The people at the Meeting aren’t going to modify someone else’s security system because it’s not theirs. Also, those people did not approve an attempt to circumvent someone else’s security system.
Meanwhile, someone brings in tools to modify the security system anyway, and I’m told it’s for my own good. I had to hire a guard dog and a contractor recommended by an old friend (and vetted by the gate-guard at the cemetary I work at, and also by the assult survivor who hangs out at the Meeting from time to time) who has their own really good security system to help me repair the damage faster so I don’t have to spend the next several weeks running wire and hanging drywall and replacing broken glass and changing the locks.
The person who told me this does not have permission to even inspect my security system, much less fuck with it, doesn’t go to my Meeting, and seems to have issues with the gate guard at my work place, the assult survivor at my Meeting, and some of the dolls I keep in the house.
(Said issue with the dolls I keep in the house seems to be that the person found it outside - which is impossible in the first place, they can't leave the house, even if they can get lost in the basement - and smashed it because it's evil and tried to kill said person. Which. Um. Mostly made me go bwuh?)