So, there's this tweet...

[morgynleri]

And in it, there is an image, and I wanted to reach through the internet and strangle someone.

The image

The text from the image is in italics, my response is not. My overall response is "fuck you very much for telling me my fears are groundless and stupid and not what I know they are."

Reality of Fear:

You're out of your mind.

You're not scared of the dark, you're scared of what's in it.

Just because I'm scared of what's in the dark doesn't mean I'm not scared of the dark itself. And maybe I'm not scared of what's in it, but what is absent from it. Also, I fucking hate being disoriented, like what happens when lights go down without a focal point, or go out suddenly.

You're not afraid of heights, you're afraid of falling.

Really? Except it's not the fall I'm afraid of, it's the fall I can't control that gives me trouble. Oh, and the fact that I don't trust man-made heights (bridges, buildings), but I have no problems with natural heights (trees, cliffs).

You're not afraid of the people around you, you're just afraid of rejection.

Fuck. You. Very. Much.

I'm not afraid of rejection - yes, it hurts, yes, it sucks, no, I don't fear it. I know it will happen.

What I'm afraid of is someone invading my space, of someone assaulting me - verbally or physically. Of someone thinking they have the right to touch me at all when I haven't said it's permissible.

So don't fucking tell me that I'm not afraid of the people around me, because I bloody well am!

You're not afraid to love, you're afraid of not being loved back.

No. I'm not afraid of loving. I'm just not interested in any love that's non-platonic.

You're not afraid to let go, you're just afraid to accept the reality that he's gone.

Clarify.

Because if you're talking about an ex-boyfriend - I'm glad each and every one of them is gone. Good riddance. Ditto the ex-girlfriend.

If you're talking about dead loved ones? Just because the physical body is dead doesn't mean they're gone, just that they live in memories, rather than making more memories for those that loved them.

You're not afraid to try again, you're just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason.

Again, clarify. Because some situations, yeah, probably afraid of getting hurt again. Others - not interested, aware of my limits, or find something distasteful.

Comments

[thedeadcat]

Oh, the simple truths bullshit. Fucking one-dimensional thinkers.

I like the dark. But then, I am fucked up and sunlight hurts my eyeballs.

[morgynleri]

I like the dark. But then, I am fucked up and sunlight hurts my eyeballs.

And there's that argument against the first one too. :) I like night time, but usually only when there's a decent lack of cloud cover, so I can have moon and star light. And preferably away from the city and the blasted artificial lights on all the time.

On the other hand, a dark room? No, really not. I can't tell where someone else is in the dark, and well. See the bit about why I don't like the assertion that a fear of people is a fear of rejection.

[thedeadcat]

Exactly. Fears often correlate to each other, intertwining until it's not really a separate fear at all.

Starlight and moonlight is bestest light, even if the cats are still better at traipsing around in it than I am. *munches more carrots* One day, felines... Also, it's gorgeous.


And now I'm having "Shit, locked in pitch black room and there's another motherfucker breathing in here with me" flashes. We should really stop now while we're sane. :D

[morgynleri]

*nods* Yeah, probably should. Though I will grant, I've been able to do this while in plenty of good company, so my hind-brain has not been able to get on a roll without being short-circuited.

*offers a hug, and her Idiot-Thumping Fry-Pan of Doom*

[lferion]

Grar. Bloody simplistic holier-than-thou asshats/asshatery. (hate-ery? That too.)

Fear of heights and fear of falling are clinically two different things, both real. (I'm sure you know that already.) My fear of falling has nothing to do with heights, and everything to do with instability/skidding/sensation of free-fall. I *like* being way up high.

And wordity-word-word on fear of people. I am not particularly afraid of rejection -- it's a known and reasonably predictable event in my life. Fear of people (particularly ones giving off creeper/angry/macho/poor self control/generally bad vibes) that's just good *sense* under circumstances of possible threat, and everyone gets to decide for themselves what constitutes that.

*Many hugs*

[morgynleri]

Worse, I think the person who posted it genuinely thinks that life is that simple.

Fear of heights and fear of falling are clinically two different things, both real.

Yes! And my problem with falling has nothing to do with the sensation of free-fall, but the sense of being constrained by something while falling. Which is ultimately a fear of the loss of control, but it doesn't matter what the root is, it manifests as a fear of falling. And a fear of man-made heights, because I did not control the building of it, and thus cannot convince my hind-brain to trust the height of a building.

And oh, the fear of people. That would be the one that inspired a moment of incandescent rage, and this entire post. Because the rest, by themselves, I could dismiss with a "eh, whatever, someone's being an idiot on the internet", but that one? I know too many people who have social anxiety issues, have been assaulted in some manner, or just are scared of people. Myself included. And oh, that line. *is still reduced to semi-incoherent rage at the idea in it*