Pineapple Rice with Sweet Custard and Butter

[morgynleri]

A recipe for a lack of a stovetop and a craving for a sweet dessert, and being frustrated with what’s in my apartment to make noms with. Also, not in the mood for chocolate.

Equipment:

• 1 microwave oven
• 1 electric pressure cooker or rice pot
• 2 microwave safe bowls, able to hold up to 2 cups of liquid to be safe
• 1 fork
• 1 standard sized spoon
• at least 2 hot pads and a place to put a hot pot

Ingredients:

• 2 large eggs
• 1 20oz can of crushed pineapple
• 2/3 cup of heavy cream (might be called whipping cream. No, milk is not a good substitute. Half and half maybe if it’s actually half and half and not any of the abomination called “low fat” half and half. The fat content is actually important)
• granulated sugar (brown sugar might do, but it changes the moisture content and thus the chemistry. On the other hand, if you want to experiment with that, go for it!)
• 1 cup of medium or short grain rice (long grain rice will do in a pinch, extra-long grain is Right Out)
• salt (table salt, sea salt, comes in colors, just not flavored)
• water
• 4-6 tablespoons of butter (if you can’t do dairy, try coconut oil or other oils, but do. not. use. margerine.)

How to make this:

Into your cooker’s inner pot goes the rice and the pineapple (juice and all!), and however much water your cooker says for that much rice (my pressure cooker says 1.5 cups). Set that to cook.

Cream goes into one microwave safe bowl and goes into the microwave for 60 seconds or until it gets hot, whichever comes second.

While the cream is in the microwave, crack your eggs into the second bowl, and use the fork to turn them into lightly beaten eggs that are all vaguely homogenized.

Take the cream out of the microwave and add 2.5 spoons of sugar. Using the eating spoon, because I did not bother to use an actual measuring spoon to come up with this.

Stir the sugar into the cream until it’s dissolved. Then take one spoon of the hot cream and pour it into your eggs, and use the fork to incorporate it fully. Lather rinse repeat until you can’t spoon more cream that way, even tilting the bowl up to concentrate the remainder. Than pour that last bit in. Keep stirring the entire time. If you need to rest, do it after you’ve gotten whatever spoonful you were stirring in fully incorporated.

Stick it back in the microwave for 10-15 seconds. Stir thoroughly. Continue until you get the first curdles, then leave it be.

Wait for the rice and pineapple to finish cooking. Do not recommend scrolling tumblr while waiting. (... first time my pineapple and rice were waiting for fifteen minutes past finished cooking when I did that.)

Take inner pot out of cooker after turning it off.

Stir in custard and butter. Pretend you’re Gollum with the One Ring and hiss at anyone who attempts to take away your precious treat. Salt to taste.

Omnomnomnom.