Sky Chaser
May. 16th, 2007 12:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morgynleriChapter One - New Places
Chapter Two - Old Friends
Chapter Three - Close As Family
Word Count: 2158
Commentary: Any.
Memories
Allison shaded her eyes against the rising sun as she stepped out of her car, recognizing the other car parked there from a few days before. Horatio was standing on the sand, his back turned to the street, watching the sun rise over the sea. Biting her lip a moment, Allison closed the car, slowly walking down the beach to where he stood.
"Horatio." She kept her voice low, standing just beyond easy reach. "I didn't know you were a fan of the beach in the morning."
"I was waiting for you." Horatio glanced sideways at her, but kept his face turned to the ocean. "Your brother would like you to call him."
"I'm not very good about keeping in contact with people." Allison began her stretching routine, looking down the beach to see how many other people were out early. "I'll try to remember to call him when I get home after my run."
"You kept in contact with Rick Short."
Allison paused, looking over at him with a frown. "How did you find him?"
"Donnell mentioned his names." Horatio took off his sunglasses, looking over at her, his head tilted slightly. "Your old CO, you met him and his wife after...."
"The divorce," Allison interrupted him. "Mark. Not about the usual problems, money or cheating. More, he wanted children, and I didn't." She hesitated slightly, and shook her head. "Look, Horatio, I've got my morning run, and then I have a morning appointment to get to. Maybe we could meet for lunch?"
"I'd like that." Horatio smiled, putting his sunglasses back on. "Did you have someplace in mind?"
"Someplace with comfort food, and outside under the sky." Allison quirked one corner of her mouth up in a lopsided grin.
"Time Cafe?"
"Don't have a clue where anything is yet, but I'll look it up." She shrugged. "Noon?"
"I will see you for lunch." Horatio hesitated before walking up the beach towards his car, leaving Allison wondering he'd wanted to say, or wanted to do.
~ ~~ ~
"So, what brings you to my office this morning, Ms. Morgan?" Dr. Torres had a pleasently pitched voice, and a carefully neutral expression that made Allison grimace, and get to her feet once more.
"I promised I'd talk to someone." She made her way to the window, looking out over the street below, and keeping her back to the therapist. "I ran into someone I never expected to see again, and it unsettled me. It worried Rick." She shrugged. "He won't let me take a plane up until I talk to someone about it."
"Talk about what?"
"Why running into Horatio unsettles me." She pressed her lips together, looking up at the sky, studying the blue expanse in search of an elusive answer. "I didn't go back to New York because I thought he'd still be there. I should have kept a better handle on where he went."
"You're avoiding him?"
Allison drew in a deep breath, trying to ease the sudden surge of irritation. "Something like that." The silence behind her beckoned her to fill it with an elaboration on her answer, and she sighed, rolling her eyes. "Things I didn't share before I left. That I don't know how to tell him. Didn't know if I could tell him. Still don't know that I can."
"Anything you're willing to share with someone else?"
"No. Not particularly." Allison leaned her forehead against the glass. "Maybe.... I'm just trying to find the strength to tell him. Over three decades, and I still don't know how to tell him. I'm supposed to meet him for lunch today." She let out a short bark of laughter. "He'd already talked to Rick, I think. Or someone. He knew about my divorce. I never even wrote him to tell him I got married, much less that I'd split up. Less than a year, that."
"Do you think it might help to try talking the issue out with someone else before speaking to him?"
"Oh no, doc." Allison shook her head, looking back at Dr. Torres. "I've only talked to one person about this issue. And I buried my grandmother five years ago."
"What did you hope to accomplish by coming here, Ms. Morgan?"
"The keeping of a promise." Allison shrugged again. "Arrange to talk again another day, spend my money on letting you shrink my head. But not about what I didn't tell Horatio before I enlisted. That's between him, me, and God."
"I see." Dr. Torres leaned back in her chair a moment. "So tell me about this incident that unsettled you."
Allison sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I was finishing up my morning jog, and had forgotten my watch..."
~ ~~ ~
"Sorry I'm late."
Horatio looked up from his study of his sunglasses, smiling slightly at Allison. "It's all right... Why don't you have a seat?"
Allison quirked one corner of her mouth up as she settled into the seat across from him. "I got lost. Took a bit to figure out how to get unlost." She ran one hand through her hair, picking up the menu to look it over, an akward silence falling.
"What... what did you mean, yesterday?" Horatio tilted his head slightly, his gaze steady as she drew in a sharp breath.
"Ah. Exactly that." Allison didn't look up from the menu, running her hand nervously through her hair again. A habit that hadn't changed since he'd last seen her before she left New York. "I mean, that there were things I never said. That... I should have said." She looked up and away from the menu, still not meeting his gaze. "I never... never could figure out how to tell you."
Horatio frowned at her evasion, fiddling with his sunglasses. "Why?"
Allison let out a short laugh, looking back at him. "I don't know. Because I was young, because I was afraid, maybe."
"Afraid?"
"Horatio..." She sighed, shaking her head. "Please, can we not talk about that right now? I... I still can't talk about it. Call me a coward, but it's the one thing I don't know how to face. And I don't want to try right now. Not here."
Horatio looked down at the table a moment, a smile crossing his face. "I wouldn't call you a coward, Allison." He looked up, meeting her gaze as she raised an eyebrow. "What would you rather talk about?"
Allison chuckled, looking up at the sky a moment. "Honestly, I don't know, Horatio. It's been so long since we last saw each other... How much have we changed over the years?" She looked back at him, a lopsided grin on her face. "I still.... I remember you as a boy. A cute, and too-serious boy. It was a bit of a shock to see you, and realize... that boy I remember has grown up."
"So have you." Horatio hung his sunglasses off his collar, reaching for his glass of water.
"Yeah. It's why I don't look in the mirror." Allison shook her head, amusement in her expression. "I know I went and fixed planes and flew Cessnas for three decades and a bit. What did you do, Horatio?" She tilted her head with curiosity. "Times late at night I'd wonder what happened to you. If you got into the acadamy, like you wanted to. If you met a pretty girl, settled down..." she paused, looking away. "Had kids."
"Ah... Not exactly." Horatio took a sip of his water, before carefully setting the glass down, his gaze unfocused. "That's something I'd... rather not discuss."
"Fair enough." Allison sighed, tapping a finger on the menu a moment. "We're... good at eliminating subjects of conversation." She scrubbed at her hair a moment. "Maybe... maybe another time, Horatio?" She met his gaze apologetically. "I'm sorry, it's just..." She shook her head, closing her eyes, hiding the flare of shame he'd glimpsed as she spoke.
"It's.. it's all right." Horatio reached out, hesitating a moment before covering her hand with his.
Allison opened her eyes again, her brow furrowing slightly, and for a moment, she looked as if she wanted to say something, before shaking her head slightly, and giving him a too-bright smile. "Thanks for saying that, Horatio. Ah..." she pulled her hand back, reaching into a pocket to pull out a pen. "Do you have something I could write on? I'll give you the phone for my apartment. Ah.. maybe you could call me, I don't know."
Horatio pulled out one of his business cards, passing it to her, watching her as she looked at it a moment. A small smile crossed her face before she turned it over, rapidly writing across the back, and handing it back.
"Talk to you later, Horatio. I... I want to... I'm not planning to leave Miami, so... maybe I'll find the strength to face... to face what I couldn't tell you." She reached out a hand as she stood, lightly touching his hand for a moment. "Later."
~ ~~ ~
Allison leaned against the wall of her apartment, her finger hovering over the last digit to call her brother for a long moment before she finished dialing. "I don't know if I want you to be home or not, little brother," she murmured to herself as she listened to the phone ring.
"Hello?" Donnell's familiar voice came over the line, and Allison pressed her lips together, suppressing the urge to sigh.
"Hey. Sorry I took so long to call, little brother."
"Allison. You seen Horatio?"
"You could say that." She let her head thunk back against the wall. "Ran into him on the beach a few days ago. Took me a bit to recognize him. And then he was waiting on the beach this morning. Told me you wanted me to call."
"Yeah, if he ran into you. He'd been asking if I'd heard from you."
"Wait. He asked if you'd heard from me? Donnell, he said you'd mentioned Rick and Emily. What did you say?" Allison pushed away from the wall, annoyance surging.
"Just that I'd gotten a letter from you mentioning you'd retired, and were moving to Miami. And that you'd had a job offer from your old CO. Well, that and his name.... Allison, he's kept in better contact than you have, and the call a couple days ago was the first I'd heard from him in almost six years. What did you expect me to do?"
Allison let out a frustrated sigh. "I don't know, Donnell. I just... I haven't spoken to him since I left for basic. I didn't expect to see him again, much less end up living in the same city as him again."
"Why?" Donnell sounded puzzled. "The two of you... I remember mom having high hopes you'd marry him once you got out of high school. And then you left for basic, and it was like you'd dropped off the face of the earth almost."
"Mom had expectations she never should have had." Allison shook her head. "What happened is none of your business, Donnell. Just... I had my reasons, and no matter how good or bad they were... are... it's none of your business."
"Allison...." Donnell sighed, and she could almost picture him shaking his head. "You know, you're right. None of my business. But you hurt him, Allison. And our parents. Only person who didn't think you'd lost your mind was granma. And everyone wondered if that just meant she was as crazy as you."
"Granma wasn't crazy. And I don't want to talk about this. Damnit, Donnell, the only reason I called was because I was told you wanted me to call. I didn't call to bring up the past, and I sure as hell didn't call to find out you think my ex-boyfriend is better family than I am."
"I didn't say that, Allison!"
"Not in so many words." She drew in a deep breath, looking out the window a long moment. "Just... I'm fine, I'm living in Miami, I'm taking the job Rick offered, and I'm not likely to be any better about talking than I have in the past. Especially if we're going to argue like this everytime we talk to each other."
"Fine. Allison, I don't know what happened all those years ago, but for God's sake, get over it. Talk to a therapist, something. Thirty plus years of hurting everyone who loves you over whatever the hell happened is more than enough. Just... get the hell over it. I'll talk to you later. Good-bye, Allison."
"Later, Donnell." Allison hung up the phone, before yanking the cord out. "Screw you too, little brother," she muttered as she set the phone down with exaggerated care on the counter. "I didn't sign up for the trip down memory lane, and I sure as hell didn't need the reminder about how bad a sister, a daughter I had to be to put my career before family."
Chapter Two - Old Friends
Chapter Three - Close As Family
Word Count: 2158
Commentary: Any.
Allison shaded her eyes against the rising sun as she stepped out of her car, recognizing the other car parked there from a few days before. Horatio was standing on the sand, his back turned to the street, watching the sun rise over the sea. Biting her lip a moment, Allison closed the car, slowly walking down the beach to where he stood.
"Horatio." She kept her voice low, standing just beyond easy reach. "I didn't know you were a fan of the beach in the morning."
"I was waiting for you." Horatio glanced sideways at her, but kept his face turned to the ocean. "Your brother would like you to call him."
"I'm not very good about keeping in contact with people." Allison began her stretching routine, looking down the beach to see how many other people were out early. "I'll try to remember to call him when I get home after my run."
"You kept in contact with Rick Short."
Allison paused, looking over at him with a frown. "How did you find him?"
"Donnell mentioned his names." Horatio took off his sunglasses, looking over at her, his head tilted slightly. "Your old CO, you met him and his wife after...."
"The divorce," Allison interrupted him. "Mark. Not about the usual problems, money or cheating. More, he wanted children, and I didn't." She hesitated slightly, and shook her head. "Look, Horatio, I've got my morning run, and then I have a morning appointment to get to. Maybe we could meet for lunch?"
"I'd like that." Horatio smiled, putting his sunglasses back on. "Did you have someplace in mind?"
"Someplace with comfort food, and outside under the sky." Allison quirked one corner of her mouth up in a lopsided grin.
"Time Cafe?"
"Don't have a clue where anything is yet, but I'll look it up." She shrugged. "Noon?"
"I will see you for lunch." Horatio hesitated before walking up the beach towards his car, leaving Allison wondering he'd wanted to say, or wanted to do.
"So, what brings you to my office this morning, Ms. Morgan?" Dr. Torres had a pleasently pitched voice, and a carefully neutral expression that made Allison grimace, and get to her feet once more.
"I promised I'd talk to someone." She made her way to the window, looking out over the street below, and keeping her back to the therapist. "I ran into someone I never expected to see again, and it unsettled me. It worried Rick." She shrugged. "He won't let me take a plane up until I talk to someone about it."
"Talk about what?"
"Why running into Horatio unsettles me." She pressed her lips together, looking up at the sky, studying the blue expanse in search of an elusive answer. "I didn't go back to New York because I thought he'd still be there. I should have kept a better handle on where he went."
"You're avoiding him?"
Allison drew in a deep breath, trying to ease the sudden surge of irritation. "Something like that." The silence behind her beckoned her to fill it with an elaboration on her answer, and she sighed, rolling her eyes. "Things I didn't share before I left. That I don't know how to tell him. Didn't know if I could tell him. Still don't know that I can."
"Anything you're willing to share with someone else?"
"No. Not particularly." Allison leaned her forehead against the glass. "Maybe.... I'm just trying to find the strength to tell him. Over three decades, and I still don't know how to tell him. I'm supposed to meet him for lunch today." She let out a short bark of laughter. "He'd already talked to Rick, I think. Or someone. He knew about my divorce. I never even wrote him to tell him I got married, much less that I'd split up. Less than a year, that."
"Do you think it might help to try talking the issue out with someone else before speaking to him?"
"Oh no, doc." Allison shook her head, looking back at Dr. Torres. "I've only talked to one person about this issue. And I buried my grandmother five years ago."
"What did you hope to accomplish by coming here, Ms. Morgan?"
"The keeping of a promise." Allison shrugged again. "Arrange to talk again another day, spend my money on letting you shrink my head. But not about what I didn't tell Horatio before I enlisted. That's between him, me, and God."
"I see." Dr. Torres leaned back in her chair a moment. "So tell me about this incident that unsettled you."
Allison sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I was finishing up my morning jog, and had forgotten my watch..."
"Sorry I'm late."
Horatio looked up from his study of his sunglasses, smiling slightly at Allison. "It's all right... Why don't you have a seat?"
Allison quirked one corner of her mouth up as she settled into the seat across from him. "I got lost. Took a bit to figure out how to get unlost." She ran one hand through her hair, picking up the menu to look it over, an akward silence falling.
"What... what did you mean, yesterday?" Horatio tilted his head slightly, his gaze steady as she drew in a sharp breath.
"Ah. Exactly that." Allison didn't look up from the menu, running her hand nervously through her hair again. A habit that hadn't changed since he'd last seen her before she left New York. "I mean, that there were things I never said. That... I should have said." She looked up and away from the menu, still not meeting his gaze. "I never... never could figure out how to tell you."
Horatio frowned at her evasion, fiddling with his sunglasses. "Why?"
Allison let out a short laugh, looking back at him. "I don't know. Because I was young, because I was afraid, maybe."
"Afraid?"
"Horatio..." She sighed, shaking her head. "Please, can we not talk about that right now? I... I still can't talk about it. Call me a coward, but it's the one thing I don't know how to face. And I don't want to try right now. Not here."
Horatio looked down at the table a moment, a smile crossing his face. "I wouldn't call you a coward, Allison." He looked up, meeting her gaze as she raised an eyebrow. "What would you rather talk about?"
Allison chuckled, looking up at the sky a moment. "Honestly, I don't know, Horatio. It's been so long since we last saw each other... How much have we changed over the years?" She looked back at him, a lopsided grin on her face. "I still.... I remember you as a boy. A cute, and too-serious boy. It was a bit of a shock to see you, and realize... that boy I remember has grown up."
"So have you." Horatio hung his sunglasses off his collar, reaching for his glass of water.
"Yeah. It's why I don't look in the mirror." Allison shook her head, amusement in her expression. "I know I went and fixed planes and flew Cessnas for three decades and a bit. What did you do, Horatio?" She tilted her head with curiosity. "Times late at night I'd wonder what happened to you. If you got into the acadamy, like you wanted to. If you met a pretty girl, settled down..." she paused, looking away. "Had kids."
"Ah... Not exactly." Horatio took a sip of his water, before carefully setting the glass down, his gaze unfocused. "That's something I'd... rather not discuss."
"Fair enough." Allison sighed, tapping a finger on the menu a moment. "We're... good at eliminating subjects of conversation." She scrubbed at her hair a moment. "Maybe... maybe another time, Horatio?" She met his gaze apologetically. "I'm sorry, it's just..." She shook her head, closing her eyes, hiding the flare of shame he'd glimpsed as she spoke.
"It's.. it's all right." Horatio reached out, hesitating a moment before covering her hand with his.
Allison opened her eyes again, her brow furrowing slightly, and for a moment, she looked as if she wanted to say something, before shaking her head slightly, and giving him a too-bright smile. "Thanks for saying that, Horatio. Ah..." she pulled her hand back, reaching into a pocket to pull out a pen. "Do you have something I could write on? I'll give you the phone for my apartment. Ah.. maybe you could call me, I don't know."
Horatio pulled out one of his business cards, passing it to her, watching her as she looked at it a moment. A small smile crossed her face before she turned it over, rapidly writing across the back, and handing it back.
"Talk to you later, Horatio. I... I want to... I'm not planning to leave Miami, so... maybe I'll find the strength to face... to face what I couldn't tell you." She reached out a hand as she stood, lightly touching his hand for a moment. "Later."
Allison leaned against the wall of her apartment, her finger hovering over the last digit to call her brother for a long moment before she finished dialing. "I don't know if I want you to be home or not, little brother," she murmured to herself as she listened to the phone ring.
"Hello?" Donnell's familiar voice came over the line, and Allison pressed her lips together, suppressing the urge to sigh.
"Hey. Sorry I took so long to call, little brother."
"Allison. You seen Horatio?"
"You could say that." She let her head thunk back against the wall. "Ran into him on the beach a few days ago. Took me a bit to recognize him. And then he was waiting on the beach this morning. Told me you wanted me to call."
"Yeah, if he ran into you. He'd been asking if I'd heard from you."
"Wait. He asked if you'd heard from me? Donnell, he said you'd mentioned Rick and Emily. What did you say?" Allison pushed away from the wall, annoyance surging.
"Just that I'd gotten a letter from you mentioning you'd retired, and were moving to Miami. And that you'd had a job offer from your old CO. Well, that and his name.... Allison, he's kept in better contact than you have, and the call a couple days ago was the first I'd heard from him in almost six years. What did you expect me to do?"
Allison let out a frustrated sigh. "I don't know, Donnell. I just... I haven't spoken to him since I left for basic. I didn't expect to see him again, much less end up living in the same city as him again."
"Why?" Donnell sounded puzzled. "The two of you... I remember mom having high hopes you'd marry him once you got out of high school. And then you left for basic, and it was like you'd dropped off the face of the earth almost."
"Mom had expectations she never should have had." Allison shook her head. "What happened is none of your business, Donnell. Just... I had my reasons, and no matter how good or bad they were... are... it's none of your business."
"Allison...." Donnell sighed, and she could almost picture him shaking his head. "You know, you're right. None of my business. But you hurt him, Allison. And our parents. Only person who didn't think you'd lost your mind was granma. And everyone wondered if that just meant she was as crazy as you."
"Granma wasn't crazy. And I don't want to talk about this. Damnit, Donnell, the only reason I called was because I was told you wanted me to call. I didn't call to bring up the past, and I sure as hell didn't call to find out you think my ex-boyfriend is better family than I am."
"I didn't say that, Allison!"
"Not in so many words." She drew in a deep breath, looking out the window a long moment. "Just... I'm fine, I'm living in Miami, I'm taking the job Rick offered, and I'm not likely to be any better about talking than I have in the past. Especially if we're going to argue like this everytime we talk to each other."
"Fine. Allison, I don't know what happened all those years ago, but for God's sake, get over it. Talk to a therapist, something. Thirty plus years of hurting everyone who loves you over whatever the hell happened is more than enough. Just... get the hell over it. I'll talk to you later. Good-bye, Allison."
"Later, Donnell." Allison hung up the phone, before yanking the cord out. "Screw you too, little brother," she muttered as she set the phone down with exaggerated care on the counter. "I didn't sign up for the trip down memory lane, and I sure as hell didn't need the reminder about how bad a sister, a daughter I had to be to put my career before family."