Therapy Tales
Jan. 7th, 2007 12:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morgynleriTitle: Therapy Tales
Word Count: 587
Status: One session complete
Genre: Humour, Meta-fic
Rating: PG13
Commentary: Do as you will, House will snark.
Session # 38
Subject: Group Therapy
Therapist: The Therapist, AI (replacing Doctor Lynn)
Participants: Doctor Gregory House, Professor Severus Snape, Haldir, Spike
Absent: Captain Bialar Crais, Lieutenant Tuavo Crais, Captain Jack Sparrow
"Good afternoon, everyone." The Therapist looked around the small group, mentally despairing of keeping control, and getting the lot to talk about their problems. It wouldn't be so difficult if they hadn't saddled me with the four-year-old masquerading as a responsible adult, the bitter ex-spy, that bloody blond vampire, and the elf in need of an additude adjustment.
"Afternoon, I can't argue, but good, that's up for debate." House flicked another crumpled wad of paper at Haldir, who glared back, reaching for his absent knife. The Therapist silently thanked security.
I hope they remembered Snape's wand is as dangerous, if not more so, than any knife, especially after last time. Probably more dangerous than the small arsenal they take off the Crais brothers, when they bother to come to session.
"Now, Doctor House, why wouldn't it be a good afternoon?" The Therapist kept a genial smile on its face out of long practice with the human expression.
"Let's see." House looked up at the ceiling a moment in mock contemplation before returning his gaze to the Therapist, a beligerent expression on his face. "Because I'm here." He smiled mockingly, leaning back in his chair.
"Would anyone else like to comment?" The Therapist looked around the group, taking in the bored, and slightly hostile expressions on the faces. "Right. I believe it's time to renew awareness why you're all here. Shall we start with you, Professor Snape?"
"No." Snape crossed his arms over his chest, slouching in his seat with a scowl firmly fixed on his face.
"Come now, Professor Snape, there's no need to be reluctant. No one is here to judge you."
House snorted, rolling his eyes in near unison with Haldir and Spike. "Really? We're all here because we were judged in need of help. Like we needed a support group."
"And you believe you do not?" The Therapist looked at each of the four men. "All of you?"
"Of course we bloody don't." Spike flicked a dismissive hand. "No bloody reason to need any help. All got better things to do."
"But you came here anyway. Why?"
"Because we didn't have any choice." Haldir glared at the Therapist. "You try arguing with the Lady of Lorien."
"Confringo!" Snape smirked as the machine began to smoke, rolling the wand beween his fingers.
"Where'd you hide that?" House stood, leaning on his cane as he made his way to the desk in the corner of the room. "I thought security took your wand."
"They didn't look for a second one." Snape tucked the wand into a sleeve pocket as he stood. "I doubt this... machine... has any decent alcohol stashed in the desk, unlike Doctor Lynn."
"I'm not looking for booze." House tugged at one of the drawers of the desk, flipping through the files inside. "Besides, even if it did, the chances of one of our absent collegues having gotten his grubby pirate hands on it is far higher than the odds of us finding it." He pulled out the file he was looking for with a smirk. "Besides, it's far more satisfying to find the files for our esteemed enemy."
"Don't tell me the ruddy woman has a file." Spike gave the slim file in House's hand a disbelieving look.
"Yup. And we, gentlemen, have our get out of hell free card."
Word Count: 587
Status: One session complete
Genre: Humour, Meta-fic
Rating: PG13
Commentary: Do as you will, House will snark.
Session # 38
Subject: Group Therapy
Therapist: The Therapist, AI (replacing Doctor Lynn)
Participants: Doctor Gregory House, Professor Severus Snape, Haldir, Spike
Absent: Captain Bialar Crais, Lieutenant Tuavo Crais, Captain Jack Sparrow
"Good afternoon, everyone." The Therapist looked around the small group, mentally despairing of keeping control, and getting the lot to talk about their problems. It wouldn't be so difficult if they hadn't saddled me with the four-year-old masquerading as a responsible adult, the bitter ex-spy, that bloody blond vampire, and the elf in need of an additude adjustment.
"Afternoon, I can't argue, but good, that's up for debate." House flicked another crumpled wad of paper at Haldir, who glared back, reaching for his absent knife. The Therapist silently thanked security.
I hope they remembered Snape's wand is as dangerous, if not more so, than any knife, especially after last time. Probably more dangerous than the small arsenal they take off the Crais brothers, when they bother to come to session.
"Now, Doctor House, why wouldn't it be a good afternoon?" The Therapist kept a genial smile on its face out of long practice with the human expression.
"Let's see." House looked up at the ceiling a moment in mock contemplation before returning his gaze to the Therapist, a beligerent expression on his face. "Because I'm here." He smiled mockingly, leaning back in his chair.
"Would anyone else like to comment?" The Therapist looked around the group, taking in the bored, and slightly hostile expressions on the faces. "Right. I believe it's time to renew awareness why you're all here. Shall we start with you, Professor Snape?"
"No." Snape crossed his arms over his chest, slouching in his seat with a scowl firmly fixed on his face.
"Come now, Professor Snape, there's no need to be reluctant. No one is here to judge you."
House snorted, rolling his eyes in near unison with Haldir and Spike. "Really? We're all here because we were judged in need of help. Like we needed a support group."
"And you believe you do not?" The Therapist looked at each of the four men. "All of you?"
"Of course we bloody don't." Spike flicked a dismissive hand. "No bloody reason to need any help. All got better things to do."
"But you came here anyway. Why?"
"Because we didn't have any choice." Haldir glared at the Therapist. "You try arguing with the Lady of Lorien."
"Confringo!" Snape smirked as the machine began to smoke, rolling the wand beween his fingers.
"Where'd you hide that?" House stood, leaning on his cane as he made his way to the desk in the corner of the room. "I thought security took your wand."
"They didn't look for a second one." Snape tucked the wand into a sleeve pocket as he stood. "I doubt this... machine... has any decent alcohol stashed in the desk, unlike Doctor Lynn."
"I'm not looking for booze." House tugged at one of the drawers of the desk, flipping through the files inside. "Besides, even if it did, the chances of one of our absent collegues having gotten his grubby pirate hands on it is far higher than the odds of us finding it." He pulled out the file he was looking for with a smirk. "Besides, it's far more satisfying to find the files for our esteemed enemy."
"Don't tell me the ruddy woman has a file." Spike gave the slim file in House's hand a disbelieving look.
"Yup. And we, gentlemen, have our get out of hell free card."